1000 Ways to Die (season 5)

The TV show 1000 Ways to Die originally aired on the cable channel Spike, and will reaired on Paramount Network in the future.

Season 5[]

Episode 55: Special: Death By Request (The Deathies)[]

Aired October 24, 2011

Category	Runner Up A	Runner Up B	First Place	Original Episode of Winner
Sexiest Death	Blood Bath & Beyond	Gum's The Word	Washed And Fried	Episode 20: Death Watch
Best Historical Death	Vike-O-Done	My Big Fat Greek Death	Back Stabbed	Episode 26: Putting A Smiley Face On Death
Best death during sex	Gasketballed	Orspasm	Ass Phyxiated	Episode 14: Death Bites!
Cosmic Karma	Dead Meat-Eorite	Road Killed	Steward-death	Episode 39: The One About Dumb People Dying
Worst Sexual Pervert	Crib Your Enthusiasm	Mercury in Uranus	Vom-Ate-Dead	Episode 30: The End is Weird
Best Sports Death	Samurai Death Squad	Pam Caked!	Dead Eye	Episode 5: Dead and Deader
Dumbest Druggie	Curl Up And Die	Hillary Snuffed	Em-Bear-Assed	Episode 4: Death Over Easy
Dumbest Death	Bitch Zapped	Midnight Choker	Boys 2 Dead	Episode 25: Death On A Stick
Most Painful Death	Easy Slider	Bot-ily Harm	Bad Max	Episode 30: The End is Weird
Deathiest Death	Fat-ality	Chippin' Dale	Titty Titty Bang Bang	Episode 13: Death On Arrival

Episode 56: Deadliest Kitsch[]

Aired October 24, 2011 Note: This is the sixth episode not to feature the death of a female.

Title reference: Spoofs the Discovery Channel TV series Deadliest Catch.

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
642	Bull-Heavia (a.k.a. Bleader)	March 24, 2010	Somewhere in the Middle East	The dictator of an unnamed Middle Eastern country regularly videotapes speeches blaming the United States of America for the country's poverty, political unrest and promising that the U.S. will pay for its decadent ways. In private, however, the dictator is obsessed with America, often dressing up as a cowboy in a private room filled with American memorabilia and a table with a model replica of Washington, D.C. He has finished installing a new mechanical bull in his room and goes to ride it, but his subordinate doesn't know how to make it go faster and ends up throwing the leader from the bull and onto his Washington, D.C.model., where the Washington Monument statue impales him right in the heart.
241	Hose Whipped (a.k.a. Hosed)	May 27, 2008	Philadelphia, PA	A low-rent security guard (who has dreams of becoming a full-fledged police officer, even though he recently failed the police exam) attempts to stop a group of scantily-clad animal rights protesters in front of a pharmaceutical company by blasting the protesters with a fire hose on full power. When the pressure becomes too much for him to hang onto, the hose slips under his legs and knocks him to the ground. The brass nozzle of the hose slams into his skull at over 30 miles per hour.
820	Suffer-Cated (a.k.a. Cheating Edge)	November 16, 2009	Bloomington, Indiana	An obsessed cyclist is forced to take care of the dog his girlfriend left behind when she abandoned him. During his training in an altitude tent, the neglected dog notices the cyclist's water bottle on top of the tent, jumps up, and shuts off the air supply. The cyclist desperately tries to get out, but ends up making the altitude tent fall to the floor (doorside down) and the man suffocates.
307	Rocked Out (a.k.a. Between a Rock and a Dead Place)	April 14, 2006	Dodge City, KS	A rock climbing instructor who leers at and gropes his female students is forced to help a man, who weighs 250 pounds, learn how to rope climb. The rock climbing instructor is too distracted by his female coworker to notice that the 250-pound man is slipping. The rope wraps around the instructor's neck, nearly choking him. He manages to get out of it by cutting the rope, but this makes the obese man fall on top of the instructor, killing him of a broken neck and brain hemorrhage.
917	Chicken Boned (a.k.a. Chicken Brittle)	August 1, 1998	Cedar Rapids, IA	A bored group of friends decide to play "chicken" (performing dangerous stunts to see who will back out first). One of the boys challenges the other to hold a lit M-80 in his mouth. When the second backs out, the first boy cries in victory but accidentally swallows the M-80, which enters his trachea, and blows apart his throat, causing him to drown in his own blood.
508	Toe Jammed (a.k.a. The Karma Kick)	September 14, 2005	Toledo, OH	A hospital janitor with a fetish for feet and unconscious women sneaks around giving pedicures to sleeping or comatose female hospital patients while sucking on a foot-shaped lollipop. While finishing a pedicure on a comatose patient, the janitor accidentally lets a hospital tray swing towards the woman's kneecap, triggering the patellar reflex. The coma patient involuntarily kicks the man in the face, causing the lollipop to lodge in his throat and choke the janitor to death.
260	Down with the Clown (a.k.a. Insane Clown Posse)	July 23, 2008	Los Angeles, CA	A circus party clown stalks a horror-core hip-hop band called "Infernal Clown Posse" (played by real-life clown-music group Insane Clown Posse) with hate mail and plans to sabotage one of their concerts. The clown rushes to the front row, but is knocked unconscious when one of the group members hits him in the head with a soda pop bottle. After regaining consciousness a short time later, the clown becomes enraged, runs backstage and goes to unplug their speakers. The clown, still drenched in soda, which contains a high concentration of salt, is then electrocuted to death, much to the relief of Infernal Clown Posse who continue the concert with the song "In Yo Face". NOTE: This death features the real song "In Yo Face", performed by ICP.

Episode 57: Grave Decisions (The Halloween Episode)[]

Aired October 31, 2011

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
819	Sneeze Bag (a.k.a. 15 Minutes of Shame)	February 23, 1989	Chicago, IL	A city mayor's sexy campaign manager (actually a spy working for an opposing candidate) drugs his drink in a plot to frame him for sleeping with her. The next day, she drags the mayor out to meet a mob of photographers she has tipped off about the alleged sex scandal. However, the woman unknowingly suffers from ACHOO syndrome, and the camera flashes trigger a sneezing fit that leads to her death from burst blood vessels.
273	As-Capped (a.k.a. Killjoy)	June 10, 2005	El Segundo, CA	An ex-record producer from the 1950s (modeled after Phil Spector) harasses his former band, who have been hired as the house band at the nursing home where he now resides. While threatening them with a revolver, he suffers a fit of palsy in his hand and accidentally shoots his own oxygen tank, which explodes and kills him.
295	Cat Fight On A Hot Tin Hood (a.k.a. Parking Wars)	August 9, 2001	Walla Walla, WA	An overly aggressive driver gets angry when another woman takes the parking spot she wanted. When she gets in a fight with the other driver, she falls on top of the sharp three-pronged hood ornament of the car, lacerating her stomach and causing her death from hypovolemic shock and blood loss.
109	Heart Beat Down (a.k.a. Shocking Behavior)	May 15, 1954	Bay City, MI	A convicted murderer confined to a mental hospital is given electroshock therapy. He fakes being catatonic in order to take a nurse hostage and try to escape. While climbing the boundary fence, he suffers a fatal heart attack caused by a change in cardiac rhythm due to his treatment.
244	Chain On You (a.k.a. Dirt-y Biker)	April 25, 2007	Lakewood, CO	Two female motocross riders are bitter rivals on their local circuit and are competing to earn entry into a major event. A failed jealous rider sabotages her rival's motorcycle chain, causing it to snap during the next race. The broken chain flies through the air and tears into the saboteur's throat, and she quickly bleeds to death. (This is the second death to feature what actually happened different from the CGI format, the first death being "Jablowni". The chain is sent into the saboteur's throat but in the CGI format it slits her throat and slides away from her throat).
700	This Just In... My Chest (a.k.a. Breaking News)	August 26, 2004	Port Charlotte, FL	A local news reporter obsessed with his self-image gets the opportunity to look brave and become famous on a national scale by covering a local hurricane. While attempting to cover the story, he is struck and impaled by a mailbox post that has broken loose in the high winds.
548	Therm-Assed (a.k.a. The Big Swig)	October 8, 2008	Moab, UT	A miserable teenage girl forced into going to a religious weekend retreat by her parents slips some crushed ecstasy into everyone's dinner. After the drugs take effect, one of the campers smashes a guitar near the campfire. The girl chokes on the soot that is blown in her face. She grabs a nearby Thermos and gulps its contents, not knowing that it is filled with leftover boiling water from the campfire. Because she is high on ecstasy, she fails to spit the water out, so she suffers severe burns to her epiglottis which swells up and blocks her airway. She then loses consciousness and soon her life.

Episode 58: Dirt Nap[]

Aired November 7, 2011

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
350	Harmored Car (a.k.a. Heavily Armed)	April 22, 2006	Hutchinson, KS	Two amateurs attempt to rob an armored car and successfully tie up the guards, but a passer-by calls 911. The police arrive and exchange gunfire with the robbers, one of whom hides in the car. Just as he peeks out of an open door, his partner is hit and falls backward, driving the door shut and breaking the first robber's neck.
915	Bush Whacked 3: Waxed Off (a.k.a. Water-Waxed)	November 13, 2005	Los Angeles, CA	An angry woman goes to a spa run by two Korean women. After enduring her constant complaints, the masseuse and spa owner decide to give her a free bikini wax. One of the waxing strips catches fire and ignites her pubic hair when it is brought too close. The spa workers put out the fire, but the smoke sets off the sprinkler system and drenches everybody in the room. The woman dies from anaphylactic shock caused by aquagenic urticaria (a rare allergic reaction to water) before she can get out.
294	You've Got Dead Male (a.k.a. Mail Boxed)	October 18, 2009	Daytona, FL	A teenage vandal rides around a neighborhood and smashes mailboxes with a wooden baseball bat while his girlfriend drives. One previous victim, a retired metalworker, has reinforced his box with a steel post; unable to destroy it, the vandal pounds on it until his bat breaks, sending a splinter into his heart.
634	Shop 'Till You Drown (a.k.a. Dis-Drowned)	February 9, 2004	Corpus Christi, TX	A woman selling fake designer clothes to a client for high prices is thrown out by her client's husband (who hates her because his wife keeps spending money on her, putting them in financial debt, and the husband lost most of his money to the current economic downturn). Unable to see where she is going (due to the heavy bags of clothes she's carrying), she falls into the couple's swimming pool, gets tangled in its cover, and drowns.
290	De-faced (a.k.a. Snow No)	January 22, 2003	St. Cloud, MN	A useless family man warms up his recently purchased snowblower by letting it run in his garage while he drinks several beers. Though he narrowly avoids being impaled by an ax sent flying into the air at him whilst sharpening it, the combination of alcohol and carbon monoxide exhaust fumes causes him to become dizzy and fall onto the blades, shredding his face, killing him.
630	Ex'd Ex (a.k.a. Haunted Prey Ride)	March 27, 2001	Sleepy Hollow, NY	A couple on a hayride are stalked by the female's former boyfriend. When he surprises them by popping out dressed as an axe murderer, the current boyfriend knocks him off the cart. He falls to the ground, and the wheels crush his lungs and intestines, causing his death from being run over in half.
730	Colon-Gross-Opy (a.k.a. Colon Gross)	August 18, 1995	Denville, NJ	A girl with a very high competitive streak holds various contests with her two male roommates, but she ends up losing. To prepare for a farting contest, she decides to cheat by squirting a can of whipped cream up her rectum to produce gas. However, the nitrous oxide gas from the can causes quick freezing and immediate necrosis of her intestinal tissue, resulting in swelling. She farts out her blood and dies of hemorrhage.

Episode 59: Death Takes A Vacation[]

Aired November 14, 2011

Title Reference: Spoofs the 1962 film, Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation, starring James Stewart.

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
272	Velvet Dope (a.k.a. Dead Carpet)	May 21, 2010	Philadelphia, PA	An ill-tempered bouncer (and former convict) repeatedly denies two men entrance into a club for their lack of money or good looks. One of the men becomes impatient and nudges the bouncer, who in a fit drives him back against one of the support poles for the front awning. The pole gives way, the upper section swings down and impales the bouncer through the head.
965	Bull-Shido (a.k.a. Urning Japanese)	December 11, 2006	Osaka, Japan	After the suffocation death of his bandmate (from episode 36), a Japanese rock star realizes that he's untalented and a disgrace to the music world, so he decides to commit Japanese ritualistic suicide. After he slices his stomach open, one of his bandmates completes the ritual by beheading him. (Fourth intentional suicide in the series.)
899	Batter Upped (a.k.a. Fried D'oh)	January 26, 2003	Abilene, TX	A food vendor at a carnival tries to seduce his co-worker in the booth by erotically feeding her a la 9 1/2 Weeks. His co-worker enjoys it, until the food vendor tries to make out with her. After she dumps a bucket of batter over his head and flees, he tries to follow her but runs into a pole and stumbles face-first into a deep fryer, sustaining fatal burns. When she returns for her car keys, the co-worker lifts him up and screams at his face, which has been completely cooked.
771	Caught In A Lye (a.k.a. Mud Fried)	September 25, 2001	The Czech Republic	A chemical plant owner lies to safety inspectors about his waste disposal practices. He panics when one of them notices a pipe leaking hazardous sodium hydroxide solution and tries to stop the leak by closing a valve. But the chemical spews all over him, destroying his skin and body tissues.
614	Dead on Arrival (a.k.a. Tye Die)	November 6, 2002	San Francisco, CA	A drug smuggler creates a tie-dyed T-shirt soaked in blotter acid so he can avoid detection at the airport. The smuggler gets nervous and begins sweating, causing him to absorb a massive overdose through his skin and suffer a heart attack, stroke and massive hyperthermia.
211	Dead Mime (a.k.a. Never Mime About it)	June 26, 1997	Portland, OR	An annoying and annoyed mime who resorts to harassing passersby in a park just to get attention stops to eat a pickle for lunch. One piece gets lodged in his throat and chokes him to death, but none of the passers-by stop to help. Instead, they laughed and clapped, thinking it's only part of his act.
556	Her Own Damn Fault!!! (a.k.a. Game Set Splat)	July 27, 2004	Chatsworth, CA	A lecherous, booze-addicted, two-timing wife invites her husband's boss and his boss's wife for a game of tennis. When she publicly tries to seduce her husband, the boss's wife serves a ball that hits the woman in the head, stunning her. She stumbles against the hand crank used to tighten the net, releasing it so that it strikes her in the head. The blow leads to her death from a skull fracture and swelling of her brain.

Episode 60: Wild Wild Death[]

Aired November 21, 2011

Title reference: Spoofs the popular TV series The Wild Wild West.

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
644	Teller She's Dead (a.k.a. Violent Alarm)	December 9, 2005	Atlanta, GA	A bank teller and her friend carry out an inside-job bank robbery, with the friend "forcing" the teller to open the vault and then locking her inside. When the friend sets off the fire alarm on her way out, it triggers a carbon dioxide extinguisher system in the vault, suffocating the teller.
106	Super Zero (a.k.a. From Hero to Zero)	May 24, 2008	Cleveland, OH	A nerd takes to dressing up as a superhero to fight minor crime in his town, but ends up harassing the so-called perpetrators. He finds some teenaged marijuana smokers on a rooftop and shocks one with a cattle prod, but then retreats when the others advance toward him to defend their friend. He trips on his cape and falls over the edge, sustaining fatal skull and chest fractures when he hits the ground.
520	Branched Out (a.k.a. Uzi-Daisy)	June 5, 2009	Lancaster, PA	A man films videos of sexy girls firing weapons in hopes of having them go viral. Startled by an ejected shell casing that fell into her open cleavage (she was wearing a spaghetti-strap tank top), one girl fires her Uzi at random and hits a tree branch overhead. The branch breaks and impales the man through the chest and into his heart.
726	Dough!!! (a.k.a. Cinnamon And Spice)	November 9, 2004	Rapid City, SD	A lecherous bakery supervisor who sexually harasses his female employees challenges one of them to perform the next-to-impossible task of swallowing a spoonful of ground cinnamon in order to get out of going on a date with him. She chokes on the powder and coughs it into his face, and he blindly falls over so that his tie gets caught in a running industrial dough mixer. His head is pulled in and the mixing blade inflicts lethal skull fractures.
593	Cham-Pained (a.k.a. Champagne Toast)	July 8, 2006	Montecito, CA	A stolen art auctioneer decides to open her evening with a champagne fountain. When she goes to open the bottle, the cork pops off into her eye and sends her falling backward into the pyramid of champagne glasses. The shards embed her in the brachial artery and the rest of her body, and she bleeds out in seconds.
105-A	Backseat Die-er (a.k.a. Heart Beaten)	March 1, 2003	West Plains, MO	A paramedic who has been fired several times for gross incompetence and getting high on hospital drugs takes another job and gets high again by inhaling nitrous oxide. In his intoxicated state, he hallucinates he's about to have sex with a mysterious woman and begins playing with the ambulance's defibrillator, only to electrocute himself.
443	Blogged Artery (a.k.a. Kiss Of Death)	January 16, 2006	Zuni Pueblo, NM	A blogger who has sex with rock stars tries and fails at seducing a young rocker. Desperate for new material for her blog, she uses a vacuum cleaner on her neck to simulate a hickey. The suction causes a blood clot in her carotid artery, which ends up traveling to her brain and giving her a stroke when she stands.

Episode 61: Death Penalties[]

Aired January 25, 2012

Note: This episode only had six deaths, as opposed to the normal seven, with the final segment being twice as long as the others.

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
496	Recep-Shunned (a.k.a. Wedding Swinger)	July 3, 2010	Warwick, RI	An obnoxious wedding singer performs an insulting song, making fun of the groom being tricked into marrying the bride, who is pregnant and has herpes. The groom gets angry and goes to fight the singer, and the best man tries to calm him down, only to be pushed into the microphone stand, causing the microphone to lodge in the singer's throat, which asphyxiates him.
874	Dyin' Maiden (a.k.a. Iron Maid in France)	September 4, 1789	Lyon, France	During the French Revolution, a spy posing as a maid tries to kill a magistrate to get his money, but is stopped by the magistrate's assistant. For committing treason, the maid/spy is sentenced to death by being shoved inside an iron maiden and impaled.
358	Teri-Yucky (a.k.a. Burning Japanese)	October 5, 2006	Bremerton, WA	A master chef at a Benihana-style Japanese grill restaurant owns a set of precious knives. One night, the busboy of the restaurant steals the knives to role-play as the chef. He throws one of them high in the air and manages to catch it, but it severs a support rope holding up a giant Buddha head decoration. The decoration slams into the busboy and causes him to face plant into the hot grill, which scorches his face and kills him from fatal burns.
950	No Guts...All Gory (a.k.a. Knife Surprise)	September 23, 2001	Leesburg, FL	A common street thief who regularly mugs passersby goes after a diving equipment vendor as he's loading his merchandise into his car. The vendor uses a knife to make a stab at the street thief (even though fighting back against an armed mugger is ill-advised) and the knife gets lodged in the thief's side. As he tries to pull it out, the thief presses a button that releases a burst of nitrogen (the knife in particular is used to subdue sharks during deep-sea diving excursions), which causes the thief's viscera to explode all over the parking lot.
24	She-Manned (a.k.a. Wet & Dry)	November 3, 2007	Venice Beach, CA	A female bodybuilder who works as a fetish actress for weak men who are attracted to physically strong women is taking a bath to prepare for her best customer. While under the influence of muscle relaxants and alcohol, she slips into the water, but gets out before she can breathe in any more water. While trying to crush a watermelon between her thighs for her best customer, though, she chokes to death and dies from delayed drowning.
445	Apocalypse Harley (a.k.a. Apocalypse Charlie)	April 16, 2011	Hollywood, CA	A Marlon Brando-esque mercenary has been hired to take down a Charlie Sheen-like TV actor (who has been in the news for his erratic, misogynistic behavior, and his cocaine abuse). When the mercenary has the actor cornered in his mansion, the actor races to the kitchen to snort cocaine and get his machete. While running circles around the mercenary, the actor trips and stabs himself in the pulmonary artery with his own weapon. He manages to utter, "Winning!" to one of his live-in prostitutes before dying. (NOTE: This is the long segment).

Episode 62: Die-abestic[]

Aired February 1, 2012

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
215	Spit-Ill (a.k.a. Sloppy Seconds)	July 4, 2007	Marietta, GA	A southern belle working a kissing booth for charity at a carnival is stealing the money from the jar. When he walks up to the booth, she is more than willing to make out with her high school crush. However, he had been chewing sunflower seeds, to which the belle is revealed to be allergic and she dies of anaphylactic shock.
462	Tow F. U. (a.k.a. Tow Schmuck)	August 28, 2006	Union, NJ	A tow truck driver was also a scam artist. He would put fake 'No Parking' signs up and then overcharge customers when he illegally towed their car or does any other services. When a woman with a broken down car agrees to pay his high prices to get her car towed, the lazy tow truck driver accidentally hooked onto the car's steering rod instead of the tow link. While the car is being towed, the tensed steering rod breaks and the towing hook flies into the driver's head, crushing his skull.
296	Tipping Point (a.k.a. Gratuity Violence)	May 8, 2001	San Francisco, CA	Two rival waitresses working at a failing sports restaurant fight over who gets to serve a table filled with male softball players. When the fight gets physical, one waitress climbs atop the bar to body slam the other waitress, but she misses and lands on a spiked receipt holder that was knocked on the floor during the fight. She panics when she sees the receipt holder stuck in her silicone-filled breast and pulls it out. The blood from her pierced breast and heart leaks out and she exsanguinates.
554	Dead Fixe (a.k.a. Critical Condition)	March 22, 2009	Boston, MA	A food critic – notorious for his caustic reviews on restaurants – gets drunk on martinis during his latest assignment (a plan hatched by the chef and the bartender who know about the critic and decided to get him drunk so he'd write a good review). In his drunken state, the critic accidentally bites and swallows a plastic sword-shaped toothpick in his martini. The bitten piece wedges in his stomach wall and the critic dies days later of periodonitis (based on the death of Sherwood Anderson).
280	Dead-Necked (a.k.a. Main Coarse)	November 24, 2006	New Suffolk, NY	A spoiled teenager throws a redneck-themed party as a joke on his country cousin (although his country cousin is a law school valedictorian). When the cousin arrives, the spoiled teen decides to "prepare the main course" and deep-fry a frozen turkey. When the frozen turkey is dropped in the pot of hot oil, the reaction creates steam under the turkey, which expands rapidly, propels it out of the pot, and into the face of the teenager, jamming the cartilage of his nose into his brain.
366	Strang-Girled (a.k.a. Necks Victim)	September 26, 2005	Bellevue, WA	A cheating wife selfishly steals the neck massager from her husband who was using it after a long day at work. She rejects his concerns for her and goes into the bathroom to relax with a massage and a bath. However, her chain necklace gets tangled in the massager and strangles her to death.
94	Pop and Lox (a.k.a. Ache Dancer)	February 12, 1984	Bronx, NY	An arrogant, Jewish-American princess who's into break-dancing holds a rap battle in her backyard against a rival team over who boosts the biggest sound in the neighborhood. During the battle, the break-dancer drops dead from sudden arrhythmic death syndrome caused by her high-energy dancing and the sound waves disrupting the rhythm of her heart.

Episode 63: Star Death: The Last Generation[]

Aired February 8, 2012

Title reference: Spoofs the popular TV series Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Death #	"Event" Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
453	Cat Got Your Life (a.k.a. Too Fur Gone)	July 5, 2009	Orlando, FL	An animal hoarding divorcee with multiple cats becomes obsessed with mating them so she can collect and drink the milk of her pregnant cats, not realizing that they have been eating white snakeroot plants outside her house. The milk picks up the plants' toxins and causes the woman to suffer a high fever, vomiting, and cramping, eventually dying of organ failure.
182	Homie Invasion/Homie's Dead (a.k.a. Homie Invade-Dead)	August 16, 2006	Shallotte, NC	On a hot summer night, a burglar breaks in and begins stealing things from the owners' home. The husband goes to stop the burglar, but gets hit in the head with the burglar's baseball bat. The wife tries to revive her husband with CPR, but he doesn't awaken. The story is about to end with the typical 1000 Ways to Die "Way to Die #" and title screen when the story is suddenly rewound to show that the husband did come back to life (as he had a rare condition called Lazarus syndrome in which victims who are supposedly dead are suddenly revived). The husband confronts the escaping burglar, who freaks out over the husband's revival and falls off his rope, dying of a skull fracture and fatal brain damage from hitting the cobblestone path below the balcony, while the wife is relieved her husband is still alive.
446	Kara-Chokey (a.k.a. Inside Choke)	June 24, 2005	Kyoto, Japan	A Yakuza boss punishes a drunk karaoke singer for ruining his karaoke night by severing his fingertip and swallowing it, only to have it lodge in his throat. One of his underlings performs the Heimlich maneuver to save him which causes him to successfully cough up the finger but his incorrect technique ruptures the boss's aortic valve so that he dies of massive internal hemorrhaging.
152	Photo-Dead-Ick (a.k.a. Painted Love)	September 22, 2004	New York, NY	An snobby anorexic, cocaine-using supermodel has her entire body painted with latex for a photo shoot. The combination of drug abuse, poor diet, and rising body temperature (she can't sweat because of the latex) causes her to pass out and impale herself through the eye on a lighting post.
330 (Note: second death to be given this number)	Paper Or Spastic (a.k.a. Green Grosser)	February 24, 2002	Crook, OR	An incredibly obnoxious and ill-tempered grocery shopper tries to swindle a store cashier, then screams at the manager when the cashier calls him in. During the argument, the scarf she is wearing (and trying to shoplift) gets caught in the checkout stand's conveyor belt and strangles her.
529	Hydrate-Dead (a.k.a. Chug A Lug)	July 10, 2001	Sedona, AZ	A competitive, perfectionist clothing entrepreneur constantly drinks large amounts of water and runs for exercise. While trying to outrace her rival from several past marathons, she collapses and dies due to swelling of the brain caused by water intoxication.
232	Nine Inch Nailed (a.k.a. R & RIP)	April 10, 1999	Tacoma, WA	Three men hired to clean a local dump waste time by rolling in a tire down a hill with a wooden ramp. The first man passes the ramp, but when the second man rolls down, the ramp collapses and exposes two nine-inch framing nails from the ramp, which puncture through the tire and sever the man's spinal cord, causing neurogenic shock.

Episode 64: Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral"[]

Aired February 22, 2012

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
711	Spastic Surgery (a.k.a. Plastered Surgery)	February 5, 2004	Greensboro, NC	A woman who has recently had gastric bypass surgery chews out her husband and forces him to divorce her while the two dine out at a fancy restaurant. While arguing with him, the woman has a coughing fit, which causes her to bleed out excessively and bring forth a pair of forceps (which were left inside her by her plastic surgeon) from her lacerated stomach.
191	Rhymes With "Rich" (a.k.a. Diet and Exercise)	November 18, 2007	Grosse Pointe, MI	A gold-digging personal trainer targets a wealthy businessman who has hired her to help him and his wife stay in shape. After the wife yells at her husband for having an erection from the trainer's seductive ways, the trainer celebrates by practicing her clean and jerk with a 150-pound barbell. However, she lifts it too fast and collapses on a step aerobics platform. The impact from the fall snaps her neck, severing her spinal cord.
258	Less Is Mormon (a.k.a. Whip Trap)	May 20, 2001	Amity, OR	A polygamist cult leader is set to wed his fourth wife. His latest wife gets nervous and runs off into the woods. The other cult members go after her, stepping into fatal traps set up around the compound to keep cult members from escaping alive. The groom ends up dead from one of his traps—a spiked board that impales the victim when stepped on like a rake.
689	Wine And Die (a.k.a. Dyin' Wine)	October 1, 2002	Napa Valley, CA	A nerdy, virgin college student takes a female foreign-exchange student from Sweden to a vineyard for a wine tasting, only to find it closed for the off-season. Having brought their own wine, they get drunk and climb into a fermentation vat to make out. Both of them soon asphyxiate due to the carbon dioxide emitted by the fermenting grapes.
420	Die-Rect TV (a.k.a. Flashbite)	September 29, 2009	Brooklyn, NY	A squatter decides to tap into his neighbors' cable television line for some free entertainment when he sees that they are watching a marathon of 1000 Ways to Die. He climbs up to their exterior cable box, but tumbles down the building's fire escape, and gets impaled through his mouth and brainstem by the screwdriver he had between his lips.
944	Dead Light Green Light (a.k.a. Collision Coarse)	April 18, 2005	Everett, WA	A scalper selling fake tickets to local sporting events gets caught by an angry customer who was just turned away for having counterfeit tickets. The scalper hurries across the street, but is hit and killed by an SUV, even though the pedestrian signal is green (the traffic light was shorted out by a slug that crawled into the electrical box to escape the sun).
346	Extinguished (a.k.a. Lodge-Dead)	December 12, 2006	Asheville, NC	A bitter ex-jock, whose college prospects were ruined by failed drug tests, now plays dodgeball at a community center. After one aggressive victory against a group of nerds (all of whom are heads of Internet companies that are making more money than the jock ever will), he yells at his teammates and tries to spray them with an old, improperly maintained fire extinguisher. The container explodes and the handle lodges into his chest, destroying his heart.

Episode 65: Sor-Dead Affair[]

Aired February 29, 2012

Title reference: A pun on the saying "sordid affair".

Death #	"Event"Name	Date of Death	Location	Circumstances of Death
911	Penis de Milo (a.k.a. Sculpt-A-Death)	March 28, 1993	Montreal, Quebec, Canada	A sculptor chiseling away at his latest project is dumped by his attention (and sex)-starved wife. Lonely, the sculptor decides to chisel a vaginal opening at the base of the statue and have sex with it. Exhausted from having sex with his work of art, he tries to get up, only to find himself stuck on the statue due to priapism. The sculptor screams for help, but no one comes to his aide. The sculptor then tries to wriggle out of it. The sculptor manages to free himself, but then, his unfinished statue crashes down on his chest, causing flail chest by shattering his ribs and asphyxiating him.
143	Bad Laps (a.k.a. Final Heat)	January 6, 2005	Crystal Lake, IL	A drill sergeant-turned swimming instructor for plus-sized women turns the heat up in the pool, much to the anger of his students. The instructor then throws down a challenge: if any of his students can outswim him, they are done for the day. Wearing his wetsuit, he jumps in, and after twenty laps, the exhausted trainees finally give up. However, the sergeant dies of hyperthermia caused by his wetsuit trapping the pool's heat and causing his heart to fail.
181	Pris-un-done (a.k.a. Prison Break)	November 22, 1982	New Mexico State Penitentiary	A serial killer organizes a riot against the prison guards. He waits for the crowd to move out of the area, then takes a guard hostage with a shiv made from a screwdriver. During a standoff with them, one of the other guards launches a tear gas grenade that hits the inmate in the throat, collapsing his trachea.
225	Xmas-turbator (a.k.a. Wreck the Halls)	November 5, 2003	Fort Lauderdale, FL	A man with a passion for irritating his neighbors puts up a garish Christmas display out in his yard (despite his hatred of Christmas and anything related under normal circumstances). His latest addition to his yard display is a booming sound system on the roof. After turning it on, he slips and gets his foot caught in the cord of the speaker system. As his cries for help go unheard, he swings back and forth, bashing his head against the wall and eventually causing fatal brain damage.
571	Polly Want To Crack Your Spine? (a.k.a. House Pest)	August 23, 2001	Carmel, IN	A housesitter, despite instructions not to have guests over, invites her boyfriend to the home. When they are distracted by the bird during a make out session, she opens the birdcage and the owner's cockatoo flies to the roof. When she leans over the balcony to try and grab the bird, the sitter slips and falls into a glass table, cutting her carotid artery.
393	Deep Sleep (Walk) (a.k.a. Grim Sleeper)	May 26, 2008	Long Beach, CA	A woman who lives on a houseboat is unaware that she suffers from somnambulism and often eats while sleepwalking. During one of her nightly walks, she slips and plunges into the water and by the time she wakes up, she ends up drowning.
1000	Premature Endings (a.k.a. Goodbye, Farewell & Amen)	March 13, 2011	Sharon Levy Memorial Hospital, London	A woman walks through an emergency room filled with patients who are dead or near death from pains and sicknesses caused by their own stupidity or ignorance of conditions they never knew they had. She has come to visit her elderly father (described as beloved, hard-working, and faithful to his family and friends) in hospice care; shortly after she arrives, he dies peacefully in his sleep. The narrator then looks back on all of the deaths on the show and concludes that the show is more of an instruction manual on how to live rather than a lurid docu-fiction on bizarre deaths. (NOTE: This was intended as a series finale, but the show was renewed for another season, and the show shall be revived for all of the upcoming seasons.)

Episode 66: Locked and Low-Dead[]